It has been a crazy couple weeks, and when I realized that my book review for a blog tour was due today, I almost considered writing the review without having finished it. But then, appalled at myself, I realized there was no way I could do that, considering this book is about being true and honest in relationships. Thankfully, I was able to finish the book tonight, and what a book it was.
Dr. Jason Whiting has written a book that I am excited to discuss with my spouse. It is called ‘Love Me True: Overcoming the Surprising Ways we Deceive in Relationships.’
I loved the structure of the book, first of all. Each chapter had a different subject, complete with real-life stories, studies, experiences from his life, with key points and discussion questions listed at the end of each chapter.
Whiting was very witty, but also eloquent in his use of similes and metaphors. He painted beautiful images in my mind of what true love and healthy relationships should look and feel like. I also loved the poems and quotes that he added to the chapters to illustrate profound points.
As I read through this book, I found myself pulling out a pen and underlining multiple lines on nearly every page. Some lines and paragraphs I would put stars next to – sometimes 3 or 4 for effect. Tonight, I dropped my pen while nursing my baby, and even though I was on my last 10 pages of the book, I couldn’t stand not being able to underline and star my favorite nuggets of wisdom.
Of course the book was about honesty in relationships, and why it is so crucial, but there were many other chapters that explained concepts like the difference between our hearts and minds, the necessity of practicing virtues, how our emotions effect our communication (and the fact we can control them better than we think), and so much more.
I am so optimistic about using the concepts in this book to strengthen my marriage and make our love stronger than ever. My husband is interested in finding out what this book it all about.
And why am I so optimistic? Because as I was reading, I saw so many examples of things that my husband and I do that aren’t the best, along with scientific explanations and solutions. I chuckled during the part about memory. My husband and I have definitely argued over memory differences, but it was so interesting to find out that our memories change over time, and that we still think them the same as always. That is just one example among dozens that I related to personally.
During the first several chapters about honesty, I realized that though I don’t often flat out lie, I do other things that are still considered deception, like pretending to be tuned into a conversation when in fact I zoned out a long time ago. I appreciate hearing that that is a problem, and that there is a better way.
I love how this book discusses just about every relationship issue, from small to huge. I may not have related to every story or situation, but I gained a little more insight into things friends or family may have gone through.
I already have a list of a few things I want to try just from reading ‘Love Me True.’ Here are a few of them:
Each night before bed, Jad and I will tell each other three things we are grateful for about each other, such as things we have done for each other or the family throughout the day.
I will act with more enthusiasm when my husband tells me things, and engage more in his stories.
We will put our electronic devices away when we are spending time together as a couple, or as a family.
I will try to look my husband in the eyes more and provide more physical touch when we communicate.
If your marriage isn’t perfect (well, whose really is?), and you are open to improving your relationship, I highly recommend this book. It has been extremely eye-opening for me, and it is already affecting how I think and communicate.
Thanks for sharing your knowledge with me, Dr. Whiting. I hope it will change my life as I apply each chapter to my marriage.
About the book:
How can love, which is so beautiful and fun, cause such emotional ups and downs? Dr. Jason B. Whiting, a licensed marriage and family therapist, focuses on common relationships to show that deception is at the root of most marital problems. Overcome this and gain back that trust and excitement you’ve been longing for in your relationship.
About the author:
Dr. Jason B. Whiting is a licensed marriage and family therapist and a professor of marriage and family therapy at Texas Tech University. Whiting has dedicated hundreds of hours to teaching students about relationships and counseling couples in his own clinical practice. Whiting has presented his research nationally, including at the National Council on Family Relations, American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy, and Smart Marriages. He has published in academic journals such as Family Relations and the Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy. Last year he won the award for “article of the year” in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy. A co-authored article on cheating and deception on Facebook garnered interest in the national press, including Psychology Today and Cosmopolitan.